Assertive Communication

CHECK YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

Eyecontact:

In conversation, look the other person in the eye. It’s assertive, shows you he has your full attention. Looking away can show a lack of interest or confidence.

Facial Expression:

Show your emotions when the moment is right. Be fair, don’t smile when you’re angry or sad. Keep your eyebrows relaxed and calm, don’t twitch.

Posture:

Stand up straight, both feet firmly grounded. Don’t cross your arms or legs when seated, this is considered defensive. Never slouch or slump, it gives an impression of weariness and melancholia.

Gestures:

Keep the use of gestures to a minimum. Don’t shake your fist, wave your arms or point your finger. Make no defensive gestures. Don’t ball your fists, but keep your hands open, showing the palms unobtrusively.

Distance:

Maintain a distance that makes you feel safe and at ease. Most of the time, that means keeping someone at more than arm’s length. If someone comes to close for comfort, take a small step back and turn your upper body slightly away.

Distracting body language:

Don’t twist your hair, bite your nails, cover your mouth when you speak, scratch, check your watch while you’re supposed to be listening, or show other ‘uneasy’ behavior.

 

CHECK YOUR VERBAL BEHAVIOR

Vocal usage:

• volume: articulate, not too loud [aggressive], but loud enough to be clearly heard, do not use a subordinate whisper.
• tone: firm, without a hint of subordinance or servility.
• tempo: talk about half a measure slower than you’d like to. Most people have a tendency to talk too fast, which exemplifies nervousness.
• inflection: don’t sound harsh or sarcastic.

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