Tactical Pens – Sense and Nonsense

Ever since a scene where Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in The Bourne Identity defends himself against an armed killer with a ballpoint pen, there has been a resurgence in martial arts and self-defence circles about so-called ‘Tactical Pens’ for self-defence purposes.

As a self-defence instructor and combat pragmatist, I want to address the sense and nonsense of carrying pens for self-defence.

First of all, for those not knowledgeable about Tactical Pens, I want to show an example of the pens touted commercially as Tactical Pens:

Böker MPP Black Tactical Pen, about 35-40 euro/dollars.

Smith & Wesson Tactical Pen, about 45-50 euro/dollars.

Böker is a company specializing in knives. Smith & Wesson is a company specializing in firearms. Neither of these companies is dedicated to providing writing apparel.

These tactical pens, cool as they may be, prioritize weapon over writing, not only by the companies that produce/sell them, but their whole appearance is intimidating. Now, that is all fine if you want to impress someone, but it will be the wrong impression if these pens are filed as evidence in a self-defence case.

Why? Because these pens show they are carried as weapons, not to jot down a poem on the fly. And carrying something that can be construed to have the primary reason to inflict harm can be considered ‘premeditated’.

Last thing you want is for judge and jury to consider you a vigilante, out to attack street criminals. To avoid this label, the pen you carry should have writing as its primary function. If you get into the position of having to defend yourself using a pen, there has to be a reason other than self-defence to carry that pen in the first place.

But what if you desperately want to carry a Tactical Pen? Then choose one of the following four pens:

The pen used by Jason Bourne in the fight scene mentioned above is an improvised weapon — Jason is facing an assassin armed with a blade and he needs to find a stabbing weapon quickly. Backed against a desk, his hand blindly feels the materials on the desk, finds a capped ballpoint pen and he uncaps the pen and proceeds to use it as a weapon.

The ballpoint pen in question? The ubiquitous and very cheap Bic Crystal.

Bic Crystal, about fifty cents worth of mayhem.

Due to its hexagonal plastic barrel, the Bic Crystal is a very sturdy pen. The grip leaves much to be desired, but can be improved by some tape or a twisted rubber band to make it less slippery. Bic pens typically come in packs of 3-6, so if it breaks while fighting, just take the next one…

However, ideally you want a solid metal pen, like the tactical pens shown above. So, what other pens would be better as tactical pens?

Combat pragmatists like the Zebra F-xMD (successor to the popular F-701) for having the right price/quality ratio.

Zebra F-xMD, about 8 euro/dollars, loved by combat pragmatists the world over.

The Zebra F-xMD is relatively cheap (5-8 euro/dollars) for a solid metal pen, it has a knurled finger grip that makes it a good writing and stabbing tool, it can take a lot of different fillings, and it can take an awful lot of abuse. Unlike the next two pens, the tip has to be unscrewed to change the fillings, so it’s structurally very tough.

For a more elegant, but still easily within budget, tactical pen, consider the slim solid steel Parker Jotter.

Parker Jotter, about 12-16 euro/dollars — slim, elegant, lethal…

I carried steel Parker Jotters all through the 1980s and they served me well, both as affordable elegant writing tools and improvised weapons. Their tapered design makes them penetrate quite deeply in unprotected skin. Jotters tend to get quite slippery when bloodied, but they clean up very well afterward.

The last pen I consider the ultimate in improvised tactical pens, due to its heft and ergonomic design — the Parker Urban ballpoint pen.

Parker Urban, about 20-24 euro/dollars, blunt force trauma specialist…

Most expensive of the bunch at twenty-four euro, the Parker Urban is the thickest of the four tactical pens I own and, since I have big hands, fits most comfortably in my hand, both for writing and as a tactical pen. It’s also quite heavy, weighing about 34 grams opposite the Parker Jotter’s 15 grams and the Zebra’s 24 grams.

By comparison, the Smith & Wesson weighs 46 grams and the Böker an incredible 110 grams. While that weight will undoubtably make the Böker a more formidable weapon, it also makes it less likely to be a writing tool.

My advice is to not buy a Tactical Pen like the Böker or the Smith & Wesson, but to carry a solid steel pen you can buy in an office supply store, so you can easily claim to be jotting something down when you were attacked and that you forgot you had a pen in your hand when you defended against the attack.

Disclaimer: Use this information at your own risk. Author accepts no responsibility or liability for any negative outcomes.

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